OH!

Question: What does it mean to be human?

The most apparent difference between a human and non-human would be what we define as 'intelligence' – the ability to analyse, to make decisions and to create change.

However, monkeys are clever too. They can climb trees and pick coconuts and memorise up to 10 numbers sequentially. How many humans can do that?

This paper will aim to prove that it does not, in fact, mean anything to be human at all. We are no more than organic matter. And we are definitely no more than monkeys.

(Stay tuned for full essay!)

Now, time to do real work.

Kris Allen and Adam Lambert on Best Week Ever:



Adam answers the BIG QUESTION!



I love BWE!

Things totally drunk and hilarious from 1:20.



Adam is excited about his jacket. So is Kris.

Okay okay, Adam Lambert is gay. Everyone knows. He knows everyone knows. It's so obvious, people wonder if it's too obvious to be true.

I would like to use this blog post to voluntarily advertise for Dilmah tea leaves.

Their lychee tea is heavenly. Full stop.

Get it at "Laffles Place".

Today I am making a promise to solve all issues in my personal life!

To the one I emailed, apologies.

To the uncontactable one, I hope you will open up soon.

---

(I am a ball of clay, squished and thrown into a box and moulded into various geometric and animal shapes.)

Omg this is so hilarious, I must document this.

Today someone shot me what you'd call a "dirty look". You know, the blatant look-up-look-down, raise-one-eyebrow thing.

This person is first loser I've ever seen that actually gives dirty looks (or looks dirty, not necessarily in that order). I have always deemed them an action only for tween-TV-dramas or ineffective theatrical purposes.

"*Checks calendar* Holy cow! You mean it's not the 70's anymore?!"

Whatever you do only proves that you are what people say of you. Unfortunately no one really cares because you are a cave, just echoing whatever people rant into you. You have such a weak ear.

What's the worst insult? Pity? I can only pity you...

---

Go on, make your assumptions and analyses of people. Ultimately everything is based on your assumptions, and you commit whatever fallacy you are trying to support your argument with.

Sigh.

Ladies and gentle, your new American Idol is...

Norman Gentle.

(Hee, kidding.)

It's Kris Allen... /:

I didn't puke after all. But I still love Adam! Best Idol contestant EVER. Ever. Even though he didn't win the title, his music career is pretty much secured.

The finale was pretty damn awesome. Kiss, Queen, Rod Stewart (lol), all the big names. Steve Martin is really good at the banjo!

(Do not read if you do not watch AI8)

I. must. watch. finale. results. show. LIVEEE!

It's from 8 to 10 in the morning... Damn.

Goodness, America. Kris is not exciting enough for the market. He would never make it in the industry if not for the branding by the show, i.e. not "worldwide sensation" material, if the producers plan on cashing in. He is pretty much the more likeable and pleasant version of Jason Castro (whose dreadlocks I hate). His popularity will quickly die off. He's not even the next David Archuleta.

1) Archuleta stands out because of his age;
2) Archuleta is clean-shaven; and
3) Archuleta is SINGLE while Kris is married at 23. Not good for young hopeful infatuated fans.

And, to be pragmatic, Adam is more original as an artist and has better vocal technique (albeit sometimes screamy). People will be able to go, "Hey, that must be a Lambert" but not "That's totally Allen" to imply a compliment.

I won't deny it; Kris is pretty damn good for someone without previous vocal training, Kris has a warm personality, Kris has massive appeal, yah yah. So did my parrot. And so does my dog.

(Come to think of it, it's true. My parrot, now residing in Jurong Bird Park due to a certain maid-biting incident, sang Malay songs and everyone loves my dog because she's so luvlee.)

Yeah, I'm pretty biased all right.

---

*snigger*

I love how you 'try to' cough (like, "ER HEM") to just brush off your own responsibility and make it seem like it was my job. (No, I'm not being sarcastic, really. You amuse me loads. (: )

Y'know, I serve only what I am involved in and care about. Never even dream of me doing your "happy things" for you. Hee.

Today, a close friend of mine boarded a plane.

A dedicated member of YQP
A cool timpanist
A responsible MGA
A wonderful listener
A great storyteller
A deep philosopher
An incredible friend

Yunge, all the best in the US! (You are probably still on the plane now...)

Don't forget Singapore and your friends and NYCO and YQP!

... (:

Hilarious:



"Friend of... you?"

Within a span of 2 days I have completed and returned all the assignments I've owed the teachers!

(Except newspaper cuttings, that is a completely different matter. Someone is stealing the important parts of my copy of 早报, leaving useless things like celebrity gossip columns behind.)

That's approximately 10 worksheets/assignments in total.

Victorious!

---

Do you believe in love for all?

www.pinkdot.sg

Be part of the Pink Dot this Saturday, 16 May, 4.30 pm at Hong Lim Park (heehee).

It is not a protest; this is perfectly legal.

(The mascot is so incredibly adorable. I just can't stop staring at it.)

I'm busting like $66.30 on online shopping within 2 days on really exciting stuff.

This is extremely severely bad, considering that I have a wardrobe the size of a rat hole (or smaller) and I have fewer clothes than my dad (albeit more variety; he is limited to the shirt-pants and shirt-jeans combinations).

If you're wondering why I seem like a scrooge, it's because I only spend money on:
1) Food
2) The occasional pen from Popular (most of my stationery were adopted from home)
3) Some music scores (rarely)
4) Food
5) Unneccesary things like pump bottles (for my *cough*costly prescribed moisturiser which is popular for its floral scent) which I customise by drawing on it with CD markers
6) Meaningless, spur-of-the-moment drinks like bubble tea
7) FOOD.

Generally 90% of my moolah goes to my well-being/satisfation of hunger. Yum scrum.

Claire told me that she spent almost $1000 in a matter of months on shopping. My eyes bulged like golf balls.

(I realise, though, if you spend really little money all the time, your parents will be willing to buy you expensive stuff. Like a grand piano.)

Adam Lambert as a kid:


Wait wait wait, so now you tell me he's blonde? ?? ??? ???? ?????

And Simon Cowell as a child (omg, you mean he wasn't born a venom-tongued mono-shirt cynic!?).

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! *sheer trauma*

Bakebakebake

---

Hilariously stupid/annoying things to say:

1) "I'm not talking to you."
2) "Can you do me a little favour and send me home?" Tuas girl asks Pasir Ris kid. They are leaving East Coast Park.
3) "Your father drives a Mazda!"
4) "I bet you didn't know that I'm smarter than you because I'm so smart, I know that I'm smarter. I bet you weren't smart enough to know that I'm smarter than you. That is why I'm smarter."
5) "Go Miss California!"
6) "My favourite colour is dark black but not light black."

Very good things to say that will earn you 60 Social Status points each:

1) "Adam Lambert is awesome"
2) "I do not look at the nutriton label to find out the fat content in my food"

A child left his two helium-filled balloons unwatched, tied to a bench in a park. Both balloons wanted to escape badly as they wanted to fly freely in the skies with the butterflies and among the clouds with the birds and noisy fighter jets.

The yellow balloon was tied tightly to the bench with a dead knot, and therefore could not escape. The balloon was very sad for a while. It continued to bob about in the warm breeze.

The dark brown balloon (no prizes for what thing it resembled) was tied not as tightly and somehow managed to escape. It rejoiced.

"Aww, won't you stick around and be a normal balloon with me?" lamented the yellow balloon.

"NO, YOU JACK*SS! HAHA LOSER. I'm too great for this world. I'm going to fly high high high into the big blue sky. You are so loserly and yellow. I am great and brown. I am filled with more helium than you! I am bigger! Better! And I will fly higher! Whee!" The brown balloon did a little dance.

The brown balloon floated off into the sky, carried by its lighter-than-air helium.

Then it flew higher and higher. And higher. For a long time. Until everyone forgot about its existence. No one knew that there was once a brown balloon tied to a bench in a park.

Then it exploded somewhere in the sky. No one knew.

Then pieces of a brown balloon either fell back to the earth or floated around in space. But no one knew. No one cared.

And the yellow balloon continued to bob about in the warm breeze. The child returned to the bench, pleased with his bright yellow balloon. He had forgotten that he had a brown balloon.

Bloody boring hilarious.

For the first time I find myself fervently watching American Idol every week. And it's Season 8 already.

But I'm watching simply because this year's contestants are by far the best. (Taylor Hicks who?) My favourites are of course Adam and Allison. Duh.

I'm considering Kris but he's a little low on the profile. And Danny is getting boring so I'm beginning to ignore him.

Adam will win AI8. If he doesn't, I will puke.

---

I used a slightly modified recipe for my oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and I think they're better this time heheh (:

The trick is the butter-flour ratio. And a lot of chocolate chips.